…and the Florida Sun-Sentinel…and the New York Daily News….and the Cincinnati Enquirer…and so many more. For all you do, guys, you are so very special.
So we read with admiration and, frankly, quite a bit of incredulity, all of your glowing endorsements of Mitt Romney for the Presidency. You laid it out there for all to see – the accolades, the sterling qualifications, the resoluteness of Mitt Romney, the correctness of his positions and the hopes you all pinned on him. Who would have thought.
On the other side of the coin, you gave a frank assessment of the shortcomings of Barack Obama, the promises not kept, even at times seeming to grudgingly admit that The One really wasn’t The One after all. Just not quite up to the job. It was very brave of you to do so.
And you did this, all of you, during the last week of the campaign. After four years of adoration, after hundreds and thousands of well-placed, well-timed, incongruously optimistic prognoses and disingenuous proffering of magnificent progress, suddenly you changed your tune. It’s as if all those flattering pieces, all that skillful manipulation of headlines and lead paragraphs, all those tortured-logic explanations never happened. All those full-color, half-page posters of Obama you pasted above the fold on Business Section, Page 1 were never really there. You never did prop Obama up; it was all just a figment of our imagination and your cold, analytical diagnosis and prescription was carefully nurtured and displayed at the appropriate time. Oh yes.
Because you are to be counted on, aren’t you? You’re there for the citizenry, a free and independent press, fearless, fair and full of so much ………integrity….. it literally seeps from your pores, can we get an amen? Why, you never slobbered and blathered and fainted and fawned over the ‘push for renewables’, for the ‘wildly affordable’ Healthy Patients, only, Please, Act. Dodd-Frank, QE1,2,3, drilling moratoriums, looking for Union labels under every rock in the Rust Belt – you never aquiesced in all that, did you?
Right. You guys are pure as the driven snow and spot-on in your sober judgement …. at the very last moment and just in case the Republicans pull it off. How cute.
Now, can we talk about the Catholic Church? The Holy Mother (sorry) of Social Justice, all things Peace-ful and Diverse and non-judgementally immigration prone, willing to tolerate almost every vice known to man and to give a wink and a nod to Democrat politicians all across the land non-confessionally sinning and whoring and every other thing, pardoning Irish and Italian-descended gangsters who support their local parish and stretching the envelope of the (sic) separation of church and state until one day, one fateful day when the vast reach of your cultural, charitable and profitable enterprises is threatened by the intercession of Big Brother telling you what products you will stock on your shelves and bam!, all of a sudden you have this magnificent epiphany that The State is trying to put you out of business and you cry “foul!” And you sing “We, shall, we shall not comply!” Well, thank you Dear Church, for awakening like a sleeping giant right before the most important election in our lifetime to steal the ‘Don’t Mess’ from the Texas meme. Unfortunately for your adopted country – America – you’re too late. Maybe Italy will take you back.
Barack Obama has been our favorite whipping boy for lo these forty-some-odd months now. But he couldn’t have got to that position, he wouldn’t be the object of our scorn today without the complicity of institutions like the ones we have described here today. There are others – Academia, Mainline Protestantism, Superbig Multiglobal Corporatedom with A Heart, yes, all those guys. Shysters, quacks, moguls like Steve Wynn and Donald Trump suffering from laryngitis until Organizing for Obama is so entrenched you couldn’t dislodge it with DDT or nuclear weapons. “Non-partisan” Budget Offices, Inspectors General, ATF officials toeing the line until the chickens come home to roost and then ‘coming out’ as whistleblowers and expecting our eternal gratitude.
Did we leave anybody out? Is our contempt showing through the thin veneer of civility we cloak our criticism of “respected institutions” in? Good. They deserve it. In spades.