Wednesday, September 22, 2021
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Madonna Speaks (Oh. Please… No……)

Photo:  YouTube

You know the old saying:

“With Friends like that, you don’t need Madonna…”

Sure you do!  Don’t ‘cha?!?!?! 

And heeeeeeeeere she is!!!

{Please be aware that the following onstage rant includes foul language, takes historical ‘liberties’, and is offensive to most anyone, other than her audience who PAID to listen to her ‘wax philosophically’}

Submitted for your approval:  A middle-age woman, onstage, wearing leather and holding a microphone.  She NEEDS to make a statement to express her support for the man she believes is the BEST possible leader of the free world and says… 

[No, I’m not making this up]


“Now, it’s so amazing and incredible to think that we have an African-American
in the White House


we have a black Muslim in the White House …


it means there is hope in this country, and Obama is fighting for gay rights, so support the man,”

Yup, as the gifted Grammy-Award Winning Songwriter, Randy Newman sings, “You’ve got a friend in me” so, apparently, does President Obama have a ‘friend’ in Madonna.

This being the case, I’ve taken the liberty to ‘tweak’ Madonna’s very first hit as short homage to the “Best Black Muslim” we’ve ever had in the White House, President Barack Hussein Obama…



I made it through immigration
My mother got me through
Didn’t know where I was born
Until I woke in Honolulu

I was a kid with no class
The other kids, they beat my ass
But the Prophet made me feel
Yeah, he made me feel
Holy, and not like a Jew


Like a Muslim
Praying for the very first time
Like a Muslim
Watching as the Embassies explode
But I’m gettin’ to bed on time

Gonna give you all my ears, George
My approval is dropping, but
Somehow polling says that I’m ahead
And Romney’s going down fast

The job is fine, and it’s mine
I hear the Conservatives whine
Oh, the 47% will come out
Yeah, they will come out and
Give me four more years to tell you what to dooooooo


Oooh, oooh, oooh

The job is mine, only mine
I’ll be President till the end of time
Cause I make you feel
Yeah, I make you feel
Like you’re all swine


And I’m a Muslim
Praying for the very first time
Like a Muslim
Watching as the Embassies explode
But I’m gettin’ to bed on time

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, infidels
Can’t you see my polling
I’m in the lead for the very last time…



Madonna came out following statement the appearance saying she was only being ‘Ironic’.   [NOTE TO MADONNA:  ‘Ironic’ and ‘Moronic’ are two different words – which one did you mean to say?] 

Oh yeah?  Well, me too…  The above liberties taken with Madonna’s song from thirty years ago – I was being IRONIC too!

The real irony, of course, is that Madonna ‘isn’t exactly’ one of the 47 percenters that Romney spoke about.  I’m thinking she’s more like, um, what’s the number?  Oh yeah, she’s in the top 1% of all income winners in the U.S.! 

Huh, more irony, I guess?

Well, I’m off to work, in the meanwhile, please enjoy this encore presentation of the much better, much funnier , and much better written, Weird Al’s, “Like a Surgeon”…


I don’t know, but something tells me with so much of Hollywood, Media, and the News Networks coming out to bolster the President’s reputation – maybe there’s something the polling ISN’T telling us??? 

We’ll see soon enough. 

Have a nice day folks!

Moos Room
My name is Mike Kane. I've been writing stories for years. Most are a release valve from the weirdness of everyday life. Some of these will find their way here, others will fade off into the ether. A select few will be sent via e-mail directly to friends, family, and sometimes complete strangers (you have been warned (assuming that you are 'completely strange')). I've been in Sales all of my adult life. Sometimes sales are good, sometimes sales are bad, but in reality, 'life' is always good (regardless of sales). Well, 'LIFE' is a lot better than the alternative, at least...

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