OccupyMovement, Meet Ellis Island; “Occupy, Ellis, Ellis, Occupy”


News Item:

OccupyDC claims any property they stake out no longer belongs to the government in Washington.

They claim they are seceding!

And the idea seems to be spreading to other Occupy sites.

At first blush this seems silly, but on a second look, I’d say it is a capital (sic) idea, solving many of the several mayors’ problems in dealing with this walking bio-hazard in their cities.

Think about it.

Think about passports, visas, shot records, import-export documents, Checkpoint Karl’s, where new UN commissions offices can set up. Think of the job opportunities in building the fences. And fence security. Rent-a-cops.

Think Ellis Island.

Now there are three legal theories we can work with here; adverse possession, secession and right of conquest.





Of course, the first won’t work as adverse possession requires several years of open and notorious occupation before title can pass, and if my memory of prospectors trying to take over plots of federal lands out here in the West, a person cannot adversely possess public land, either federal or state.

But the occupiers are claiming secession and that doesn’t meet the legal smell test, either. But they could claim right of conquest, since they’ve nakedly (sic) seized it…if only the United States and the other legal entities involved would surrender.

Remember the Duchy of Grand Fenwick? Anyone? Call them “The Lice that Roared.”

But just imagine an emissary of Mayor Bloomberg walking into Zuccotti Park, and saying, “Take me to your Leader,” then stating they all have 72 hours to take over the property or get out. “Here, sign this.”

Then, when they don’t depart, build a fence, set up a checkpoint (Karl) for people to come and go, and let the good times roll.







First, blockade all other routes of ingress and egress.

Then, tell the new leaders they will have to create their own passports to regularize normal coming and goings (sic), as no one will be allowed to leave without one. All their papers must be in proper order. 24-hours, 72-hours, and 10-day visas will be issued only at Checkpoint Karl.

Also inform the new leaders that goods coming into the area will be subject to duties and proper customs documentation. “Here’s a PS Form 2796, which will suffice for hand-carried items. Truck- sized loads will have to use the larger International Waybill and Invoice. MacDonalds and various delicatessens will all have to secure multiple entry and exit passes, obtainable at the desk behind Checkpoint Karl. “Expect the price of coffee and ham & swiss on rye to increase due to these additional requirements.”

All people who remain after 72-hours will also be presumed to have resigned their status as American citizens. The United States will not acknowledge dual citizenship to secessionists or conquerors. And if they own cars, they will have to come out to re-register their automobiles with temporary driving permits the United States ordinarily issues to foreign nationals.

All the papers must be in proper order.

If, within 30 days they cannot provide satisfactory evidence of having secured a satisfactory system of courts to adjudicate both criminal and civil complaints, or adequate police protection or proper sanitation for their citizens, the United States will refer the park over to the several United Nations commissions who will have the extra-national power to declare the property to be distressed, enabling them to set up offices of the UN Commission of  Human Rights, Narcotics and Drugs, and the Status of Women, as well as the several relevant offices of the United Nations Environment Programme for sanitation and bio-hazards. UN rape counselors will also be on hand to take complaints, with the ability to refer especially egregious cases to the international Court at The Hague.

And should any new citizen change their minds and want to leave, they will have re-enter the United States through a new Ellis Island facility, which they will be transported to by bus upon surrendering their Occupy passports.

There they will be subject to a physical examination, a thorough cleansing and delousing,

their clothes thrown away to be replaced by clean clothes from Goodwill. This procedure can take up to a week, so they will be sheltered and fed.

Upon passing the physical exams, and providing proof of being able to provide for their own subsistence once admitted into the United States, their final station will be to meet the official American greeter,

where they will be asked to swear, or affirm, their allegiance to the United States, the US Constitution, forsaking all its enemies, domestic and foreign.

This is called being between a rock and a hard place.

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Bernard Chumm
Partner, The Sands Institute, head of the fearsome Scat Patrol, and Protector of the Innocent
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Partner, The Sands Institute, head of the fearsome Scat Patrol, and Protector of the Innocent

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November 3, 2011 7:26 pm

You’re a genius Bernard!