Just kidding, girls. It’s not a put-down of the fairer sex, it’s just utter, jaw-dropping incredulity at the clueless, mindless argument and advocacy put out there by the know-it-all class, and Ellen just happens to be a woman.
“American shoppers are busy shoppers,” said Ellen Wartella, a psychology professor at Northwestern University. Wartella chaired the IOM committee that studied the issue at the request of federal health officials.
“We want a really simple system that says if you have three marks, that product is healthier than one with two marks.”
Oh…my…God. A really simple system that says three marks is better than two marks. Oh, yes, yes, Ellen, a thousand times yes! Would you please, please, please accept another federal grant, courtesy of all of us taxpayers who have suffered in silence all these years at the output and antics of your nanny state predecessors?
It wouldn’t replace the in-depth Nutrition Facts panel that’s now on the back or side of food packages. But few shoppers stop to read or heed that fine print in the middle of the grocery aisle.
What!!?? Say it ain’t so, Ellen Jo! Few shoppers actually read that crap? B-b-b-but we were told…we..we..we..we paid people good money to come up with all the dietetically-correct labelling that has cluttered food containers these last few decades. Surely you jest? Surely people are really, really concerned about making healthy choices and therefore their concern would translate into reading nutrition labels? We were under the impression that America demanded nutrition labels! Oh, this is devastating news!
Thankfully, though, Ellen, you and your peeps have found the answer. The triple star rating. We can see the AdCouncil spots now across our TV screens guiding us in using the new system. And we are so grateful for this. This is really progress. This is why we have a government and this is why we send kids to college to study nutrition. Let’s see, now, the more stars it has, the better it will taste. No, that’s not it. The fewer the stars, the less sodium. Well, we’ll get the hang of it, and undoubtedly be better off in the long, long, long run.
No…wait. Ellen is not a nutritionist. Or even a dietitian. We’re not sure if Ellen even likes to eat. Ellen is, it says right there, a psychologist! Lordy, lordy! So many people having mental problems, feeling depressed about the economy, suffering from low self-esteem. plagued with nanny state-induced schizophrenic eating disorders and could maybe be helped by the Ellen psychologists of the world. But instead, she’s busied herself with their caloric intake. Well, everybody feels their calling, we suppose. It’s just that sometimes we wish people would stay within their fields of expertise. You know, like…….nevermind.