America’s Brilliant New Economic Theorist: Debbie Two-Last-Names

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As the Father of Talk Radio often likes to say, you can’t make this stuff up.

For those of you who thought that our economic malaise was due to the abandonment of the free-market system envisioned by Hayek and Von Mises; or the misapplication of the monetarist theories of Friedman; or even a lack of sufficient Keynesian stimulus, you have been so wrong and misguided.

But thankfully, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, esteemed head of the DNC and economic guru and prognosticator, has come to the fore with the real cause of our economic turmoil:

That’s right, sports fans. All would be right and just in the world for America’s 14 million unemployed, and the millions more who are working part-time, and the millions more who have given up even looking for work, if we didn’t have those danged old bridges clogging up roads causing football mom’s to have to leave work early so their sons can get to practice on time.

/facepalm

Who’d have ever thunk that solving the worst economy since the Great Depression would be so simple?

One can scarcely imagine the depths to which the greatest economy in the world might sink absent such brilliant economic insights. But thankfully, just in the nick of time, we have found our economic salvation in the avante garde economic philosophy of the Two-Last-Names School of Economic Theory.

 

 

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eburke
Constitutional conservative living in the frozen tundra. American first, conservative second, and Precinct Committeeman because I got tired of ColdWarrior hassling me about it (which, btw, led me to being elected as GOP County Chair, to my Congressional District Central Committee and to the state Central Committee).
Fervent believer that if we followed the Tenth Amendment more, we'd be hassled by the government a lot less.

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LadyImpactOhio
September 15, 2011 2:55 pm

Jim, you got the title of your article wrong, should be:

“brilliant new economic TERRORIST”

Queen Hotchibobo
Editor
September 15, 2011 3:26 pm

How foolish we all are. Who knew that the only thing keeping millions of Americans from work was a bad bridge system.

I just wonder why they didn’t use some of that last trillion dollars to fix bridges rather than building and abandoning solar panel manufacturing plants if the bridges were the problem all along?

E Pluribus Unum
Admin
September 15, 2011 6:54 pm

Whew! That’s good to know.

I was afraid that our epic national financial crisis was the result of out-of-control national debt, crushing regulation, business uncertainty due to a capricious, winner-picking administration, and other stuff like that.

Good thing I was wrong about that….