The Tsu-nami sues Obama-nami for slander over Jobs Murder Case

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The Tsu-nami admits culpability in death and destruction near shorelines but claims airtight hemispheric alibis concerning jobs killed further inland and asserts that The Obama-nami is responsible for compensated-labor homicides across the, now, Less-Fruited Plain.

The lawsuit was precipitated by the following exchange that took place last Thursday between White House reporters and President Barack Obama’s Press Secretary Jay Carney, who is thought to be an un-named co-conspirator in the Jobs Murders Case, when the Dow was down over 350 points and on its way to the ninth largest one day decline (512 points) in history:

Q:  I believe the Dow has gone down — and obviously the day is not over — but I believe the Dow has gone down now more than during the controversial TARP vote. And analysts are saying that the reason that this is happening is because of uncertainty about the American economy, that we are entering a double-dip recession, or at the very least a period of real softness and weakness for the U.S. economy. What is the administration doing to prepare for that?
 CARNEY:  Well, the analysis I saw today did not — was not about the American economy, particularly in terms of what’s happening, but there are obviously — there are a lot of global issues that affect the global economy and that obviously affect the American economy.
We strongly believe, as I’ve said, that we will continue to grow and we will continue to create jobs and we need to take the measures necessary to do that. We have encountered in this calendar year a number of economic headwinds that could not have been foreseen — the tsunami — earthquake and tsunami in Japan that disrupted global supply chains, the unrest in the Middle East, which had an impact on oil prices, and the situation in Europe.
So obviously that has hurt the economy globally and has slowed growth and job creation, but we believe that growth and job creation will continue.

The accused, Barack Hussein Obama-nami had earlier pled the Fifth Amendment concerning allegations that its economic policies had economic effects but, curiously, also blamed his predecessor, George W. Bush for job deaths after he left office.

Tsu-nami’s attorney DeVine Law Gamecock is expected to call witnesses that will testify that Obama-nami was a U.S. Senator from Illinois that voted for TARP and the last two budgets that former President Bush signed immediately before the defendant was Inaugurated. Those votes, coupled with Carney’s statement, could be deemed admissions of culpability for any jobs that were snuffed out due to inherited policies and circumstances.

In a preemptive move, The Tsu-nami also denies any involvement in events leading to the first ever downgrading of America’s credit rating, as The Tsu-nami has never served in Congress or used credit cards.

Finally, Tsu-nami has never traveled to the scene of mass job killings at the Allentown, Pennsylvania plant (pictured above). President Obama was seen there prior to the murders.

[DeVine Law Gamecock also successfully represented The Sun in a civil defamation action against Al Gore who had claimed that man warmed the earth.]

Mike DeVine

Legal Editor – The Minority Report

Atlanta Law & Politics columnist for Examiner.com

“One man with courage makes a majority.” – Andrew Jackson

More DeVine Gamecock rooster crowings at Hillbilly PoliticsUnified Patriots, and Political Daily . All Charlotte Observer and Atlanta Journal-Constitution op-eds archived at Townhall.com.

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Mike gamecock DeVine
A trial lawyer for two decades in South Carolina; owner of Ati Vista LLC since 2002 now associated with Lupa Law Firm; VP & Counsel for Buddy Allen Roofing & Construction Inc. since 2016 in Atlanta, Georgia; and a freelance writer, DeVine was the conservative voice of the Charlotte Observer from 2006-8 and has been the owner of HillbillyPolitics.com since 2009.
www.devinelawvista.com

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pilgrim
Editor
August 7, 2011 10:50 am

I imagine the prospects of your present client, Mr Tsu-Nami paying you are as likely as your former client, Mr. Sun paying you. However this pro bono work can only provide you with more visibility and respectability to bring in some real money paying clients. I am rooting for you. The real villains who try to steal Mr Sun’s patent on global warming, and kill the jobs and economic growth instead of the falsely accused Mr. Tsu-Nami will receive their punishment in the 2012 election. At least that is what I am going to be working at making it happen.

cactusjack
cactusjack
August 7, 2011 11:08 am

There are numerous sources that have predicted Summer 2012 may be a long, hot summer and I do not mean temperature wise. If you were any age in the 1960s or have read up on the civil unrest that broke out in LA, Chicago and Detroit you will understand. All the tsunami like factors are in formative play now and convergence is possible. Can you amend the suit to add new causes down the road? Or separate action?

EastBayLarry
August 7, 2011 1:00 pm

CARNEY: “…continue to create jobs…”
When did that happen? All actions of Obama-nami have been towards negative job creation.