My Unexpected Fat Attack


The world is full of troubles. Today the stock market tanked in response to unexpectedly gloomy economic news. And now my scale is reporting a shocking and most unexpected weight gain.

I just don’t understand it. I do everything right according to the progressive playbook. I don’t work, and thus don’t suffer from debilitating stress. I borrowed tons of money via the stimulus program. I bought carbon credits for the limo, which I use regularly to go the spa. After a rejuvenating stay on the tanning bed, it’s off to the bar for a convivial game of darts with my peeps, fostering the bonds of community as we trade the latest info on federal grants. And then, a well-earned and yet healthy dessert, pictured above, to replenish badly needed carbs and get that needed calcium intake for healthy bones.

Life is not fair! Clearly, Bush is to blame. Or the rich. They must pay!

Photo courtesy of James from Boulder, USA via Wikimedia Commons

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Career financial professional with 30+ years in treasury management. American Airlines retiree. Lifelong Republican with center-right views. Host of Italian Tomatoes radio show on Blog Talk Radio. Managing Editor-, a travel and aviation blog.

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August 2, 2011 5:37 pm

“Does this Bush make my *ss look fat?”

“No dear, your *ss makes your *ss look fat.”

[sound of a high capacity magazine emptying followed by a woman’s satisfied sigh]

August 2, 2011 6:59 pm

Heh -“trade the latest info on federal grants”. There are entire careers, I’m sure college courses, maybe even Schools of Federal Grantwriting”.

August 3, 2011 12:45 am

Forget the truth. Eat the pie.