The USPS’s Letter Carrier union boss wants our nation’s postmen to become ‘first responders’ in the GWOT.
I am having immense difficulty with the idea. Â Primarily, difficulty in not making immediate reference to all the jokes that immediately issue from the idea, at least in my twisted mind.
So first the serious thoughts. Â It’s natural enough for any agency running an $8.5 billion net loss to come up with some imaginative ideas to increase its ‘value proposition’ in the marketplace. Â But the USPS does not have much real experience in a true marketplace, so it’s understandable that some ideas may not gain immediate traction in the ‘bizarre’ Â of ideas. Â And last I checked, the most letter carriers’ ‘security training’ is limited to pepper spray training to discourage more direct combat engagements with unfriendly neighborhood canines.
As a union-hatched scheme, this idea produces immediate reminders of Obama’s ‘Civilian National Security Force’ that is ‘ just as powerful, just as strong, just as well funded‘ as the US Military. Â It would be the perfect opportunity for the USPS to become as wasteful as the Pentagon/DOD (as opposed the the military which I admire) with just as little oversight.
Of course, the first thing we’d see the Letter Carrier’s union angle for would be combat and ‘hazardous duty’ pay. Â Then flight pay and jump pay. Â Postal supervisors would become ‘commanders’ and next we’d see the USPS IG SWAT teams.
So I’ll leave the really funny (and serious) predictions for you, my dear readers, in the open thread below. Â It’s just too good an opportunity for a majorly funny Â comment thread to pass up!
Exit question: just what services would these ‘first responders’ render when they are the first to respond in your neighborhood?