Saturday, September 18, 2021
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As Nasty as I Want to Be

I’m Ed Schultz and you’re not. You probably don’t have a week off like I do. MSNBC pays me to be really nasty and I’m good at it. But the suits over here can’t match my nastiness and consequently they’ve gone all “high standards” on me, for a week anyway. I was going to spend my week with this guy, but he’s hangin with the spooky dude. Word is they’ve got business with this guy. Hey, it’s not cheating.

Since my pals are busy, I’ve come to visit Unified Patriots because you cretins here seem to make a lot of positive noise for the outsider conservative candidates. How pathetic and let me tell you some hard facts.

Sarah Palin? She can’t win and she is a mindless twit; the dullest tool in any drawer. Want proof? She knowingly gave birth to a Downs baby. What kind of an idiot does that and then plays saint about it? I mean really, society is better off without that type of burden. How Sarah ever got her own TV show is beyond me. Now she is going to have her own movie. Palin is nothing but the Koch brother’s right wing sl . . . er, nut.

I never promised not to make fun of goofy Republican presidential candidates and so I ask, did you see your house clown Herman Cain being interviewed on FOX by Chris Wallace? Cain can’t win and the dufus had no clue about “right of return”. Krauthammer and I are one on this: Cain is for entertainment purposes only. The guy just isn’t ready for prime time. I can’t believe the desperation of you folks. You just had to get “one”, too. I’m sure it makes you feel better about that little jockey lawn ornament you keep hidden in the garage.

Now that I’ve set you conservative “activists” straight on your candidate delusions, I take extra delight in mocking your little pet project here on UP. The Concord Project? What? Do you really think you can get conservatives off their sofas and inside the Republican party? Seriously? Have you heard of Dancing With the Stars? Xbox? Facebook? Yeah, y’all go get that precinct committeeman thing done. Bwahahaha!

While you dinosaur document loving idealists are mucking around trying to wake up the comfortably comatose, we on the left have already done our work. You see, we are serious and we have our union friends ready to swarm the precincts and the polls. We _are_ the ones we’ve been waiting for. We own the streets and we aren’t afraid to bleed. We make the rules and we break them in the name of justice.

We are going to re-elect Barack Hussein Obama. What are you going to do about? Whine? Write another strong worded letter to the editor? Go cry a river on the founding father’s shoulders. Oh wait, they are as dead as the document they wrote.

I spit on you and everything you weak-kneed crypto fascist capitalists stand for. Quote me on that and tweet it out. You’ll feel better about yourself. Boots, baby. We got’em. You don’t.

I’m Ed Schultz and my job is done here.

tg says: The progressive socialists are all in for 2012. If you have 3 hours a month you can spare and a little moxie, you can turn the tables on the left by taking yourself inside GOP party politics and into the precincts. Stand up for America and our legacy of American exceptionalism. Go here.

Texas native. Conservative small businessman with 31 years experience. Government should roll back the nanny state. No country can tax its way to prosperity. The question isn't who will let me but who will stop me?


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