Patriot Dispatches

Raccoons in the Basement

This is an amusing analogy found on the internet that may, or may not, explain why Donald Trump is getting so much traction.


Imagine…

You have been on vacation for two weeks. You come home and your basement is infested with raccoons: Hundreds of rabid, messy, mean raccoons have overtaken your basement.

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You want them gone immediately so you hire a guy: A pro. You don’t care if the guy smells, you need those raccoons gone pronto and he’s the guy to do it! You don’t care if the guy swears; you don’t care if he’s an alcoholic; you don’t care how many times he’s been married; you don’t care if he voted for Obama; you don’t care if he has plumber’s crack. You simply want those raccoons gone! You want your problem fixed! He’s the guy. He’s the best. Period.

That’s why Trump.

Yes he’s an ass and an egomaniac. But you don’t care. The country is a mess because politicians suck. The Republican Party is two-faced & gutless. And illegal aliens are everywhere. You want it all fixed!

You don’t care that Trump is crude. You don’t care that he insults people or that he had been friendly with Hillary, that he has changed positions, has been married 3 times, fights with Megyn Kelly and Rosie O’Donnell, or doesn’t know the name of some Muslim terrorist. This country is weak, bankrupt, our enemies are making fun of us, we are being invaded by illegal aliens, becoming a nation of victims. Now every Tom, Ricardo and Hamid is a special group with special rights to a point where we don’t even recognize the country we were born and raised in.

WE JUST WANT IT FIXED!

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And this is where it ends up: Trump is the only guy who seems to understand what the people want. You’re sick of politicians, the Democratic Party, the Republican Party, and sick of illegal aliens. You just want this thing fixed. Trump may not be a saint, but doesn’t have lobbyist money holding him back or political correctness restraining him. All you know about Trump is that he has been very successful, is a good negotiator, has built a lot of things, and he’s also not a politician. He’s not a cowardly politician. He says he’ll fix it.

You don’t care if the guy has bad hair.

You just want those raccoons gone.

Out of your house.

Now.

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beaglescout
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bobmontgomery
Member

If he never becomes president, if he doesn’t even win the nomination, he will have done the country a service. I cannot tell you how many commentators who have called Trump names, tried to throw dirt on him, coughed and gasped and everything else, and then in the very next article, sometimes in the very next paragraph, gone on to parrot something Trump brought up in their own refined, Ivory Tower way. As if they were on the very precipice of broaching the subject had not Trump blurted something out. Reminds me of the Paul Ryans that keep telling us… Read more »

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Queen Hotchibobo
Editor

Just because your last sheep dog disappointed you is no reason to get a wolf to watch your flock. Trump may be promising to get rid of the coons, but when pressed, he’ll always start backpedaling right away. His deportation promises come with the caveat that “of course, they can come back.” He promises to make deals with the politicians in DC and they seem to know he’s available. Bob Dole said they’d rather have Trump than Cruz because they could “deal” with Trump and not with Cruz. Trump’s got a lot of mouth, but he’s just another crony capitalist… Read more »

Cold Warrior
Editor

Would be very funny if this happened at CPAC: Trump takes the stage and goes to the microphones and announces: “The real power in the Republican Party lies in every precinct. “The Republicans in each precinct elect their own representatives to represent them on the local and county committees. The Rules vary from state to state. These elected representatives are called precinct committeemen in most states. “Precinct committeemen, and again this varies on how it works in each state, in turn elect the electors who elect the members of the RNC. “So, my fellow conservative Republicans (many will be booing… Read more »

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[…] Raccoons in the Basement | Unified Patriots. […]

Clever1
Guest
Clever1

The raccoon story made me think about a job I had where Administration would always make decision “without thinking about the end result”. They would come up with these ideas, implement it, and then watch it backfire. Even though it was bad idea, but they would not admit it and refuse to change it back because they would look like the meatheads we all knew them to be. Well, this is how I feel about those people following Trump. He may get the raccoons out of your basement, but the raccoon does have some natural enemies… wolves being one. Wolves… Read more »

Clever1
Guest
Clever1

The raccoon story made me think about a job I had where Administration would always make decision “without thinking about the end result”. They would come up with these ideas, implement it, and then watch it backfire. Even though it was bad idea, but they would not admit it and refuse to change it back because they would look like the meatheads we all knew them to be. Well, this is how I feel about those people following Trump. He may get the raccoons out of your basement, but the raccoon does have some natural enemies… wolves being one. Wolves… Read more »

plasticmind
Guest

Only you’re not calling in a pro. You’re inviting one more raccoon in the basement simply because he’s such a crazy and audacious raccoon that he HAS to be a pro. He assures you that he knows how raccoons think (he even admits to being one!) and he promises to fix all your raccoon problems. But it isn’t just swearing and plumber’s crack you have to worry about. You’ve just given this raccoon a gas can and lighter, and because he doesn’t care about any other raccoons—or you for that matter—he thinks the best way to deal with the problem… Read more »

JohnybyJohny
Member

Hello, anyone know the best way to get rid of raccoons, because i live near the forest, and they often coming to my yard to swarming there, so i want to get rid them faster as i can! At now i use this information, but maybe someone have other way?

Clem Kadiddlehopper
Member
Clem Kadiddlehopper

The REAL story: You have been on vacation for two weeks. You come home and your basement is infested with raccoons: Hundreds of rabid, mean raccoons have overtaken your basement. You want them gone immediately so you hire a guy: a guy who “says” he’s a pro. You don’t care if the guy smells, you need the raccoons gone pronto and you THINK he’s the guy to do it! You don’t care if the guy swears; you don’t care if he’s an alcoholic; you don’t care how many times he’s been married you don’t care if he will molest your… Read more »